NOTE: There is a reason these were located under "Humour" on the menu.
Remember, it's all one big conspiracy.
What's up with Team Magma and Aqua in Ruby and Sapphire?
I mean, how come Team Magma are the "good guys" in Sapphire, and THEIR evil plans aren't mentioned as much as once? And the exact opposite in Ruby? Also, Groudon, the Pokémon Team Magma is after, is nowhere to be seen in Sapphire, and Kyogre, the Pokémon Team Aqua is after, is nowhere to be seen in Ruby. Coincidence? I think not. Look how far they go giving the other team a bad name: they even make an island with a secret base on Route 110, with a sign in front of it saying "Team Aqua rulez" in Sapphire, and "Team Magma rulez" in Ruby, to give the player the message that the other team consists of some dimwits who can't even spell. It seems quite obvious to me that Sapphire was clearly made by Team Magma and Ruby by Team Aqua. Who originally had the idea and who ripped off, that is the question!
How come there are always Pokémon fans and Pokémon haters who act so dumb around the other side that it's unbelievable they are really that stupid?
Aren't they just clever and want to give the other side a bad name by making it look like they're all idiots? Hm? And then we really start having to wonder who really likes Pokémon and who doesn't. Very suspicious, I say. Never trust anybody who claims to be a Pokémon fan again.
Either the Game Freak guys are watching everything I say, I'm psychic, or I'm Satoshi Tajiri in disguise.
You see, there have been some really creepy things going on. Before FireRed and LeafGreen were announced, I posted at the Pokémasters forums something in the direction of, "You know, the best way for them to bring in the unobtainables would be remaking Red, Blue and Yellow for the GBA, but of course, that won't happen." And what happens just a little while later? Besides... I write a fanfic with a girl called May... and what do they name Haruka when it comes to dubbing the Advanced generation episodes? Of course, the only reason they didn't translate Masato as Mark was that it would be too obvious, so they made it Max, but that's really just the next best thing. Too similar to be a coincidence.
Then there is the part where in my fake Pokémon creation guide, I made up an item called Razor Claw which raises the critical hit ratio with physical attacks and which could be used to evolve a catlike Pokémon. In Diamond and Pearl, they introduce an item called Razor Claw which raises the critical hit ratio and can be used to evolve a catlike Pokémon. Suspicious much?
Of course, maybe I am Satoshi Tajiri in disguise. *spooky music*
The reason neither Charizard, Butterfree nor Scyther were in Ruby and Sapphire is that I took them all.
Of course, I find this theory ridiculous and laugh at those who came up with it. What do you mean, there's a scythe sticking out of one of my desk drawers? *stuffs it in better* Nope, nothing to see.
Wallace trained that Kingdra in the Crystal version Battle Tower.
It makes a lot of sense. Why else wouldn't he have one either in R/S or Emerald? And he is so annoying in Emerald that he's really pushing me towards believing he just has to be somehow related to that horrible Kingdra.
Professor P. from Trozei has evil intentions.
Well, just look at the evidence. Professor P. tells you to retrieve those stolen Pokémon, which does sound noble enough, but what happens when you Trozei them? They're transferred to the SOL base. Now, wait just a moment... the Pokémon weren't stolen from the SOL base, were they? Hmm, suspicious. What does he really do with all those Pokémon? Also, note how he only wants you to get at least one Pokémon of each species, but doesn't care whether you actually rescue all the Pokémon or not. And see that suspicious way he says "Could you Trozei these?" about the rare Pokémon in each secret storage... Why would he rather have the rare ones? SOL stands for Secret Operations League, but "Secret Operations" is pretty vague about what exactly they do, allowing all sorts of criminal activity to be going on behind the scenes. Nowhere does Professor P. ever feel like telling you exactly what the Phobos Battalion's plan is that's so evil. Why doesn't he want them to put up that Lunatone satellite? After all, the Secret Operations League itself has a satellite, so he can't just be against satellites in general. Why can't they have a satellite in peace like everybody else? Sheesh. Professor P. is obviously not the nice old man he makes himself out to be.
The old couple who own the Day-Care are victims of ignorance about sexuality.
See, the people in the Pokémon world have been hushing sex down so much (ever seen it mentioned? Thought not) that those two simply never found out where the babies come from and still believe that a Pelipper brings them in its beak. They've been waiting for a child of their own for all these years (in fact, they've gotten so desperate in the later years that now the man stands restlessly outside the house at all times to see the Pelipper when it comes), but sadly and obviously, they never had one. This is also why they're so surprised when they keep finding eggs in the Day-Care - they've after all been searching the skies for Pelipper for years, and are very confident that not a single one has landed in the Day-Care since they started it, but nonetheless those Pokémon always seem to produce eggs while their back is turned. Mighty suspicious, eh?
But they've got to figure it out sooner or later. This will manifest itself in the games by the Day-Care suddenly being closed, with a DO NOT DISTURB sign hanging on the locked door when you examine it.
(Of course, in HG/SS they seem to have a grandchild, but Lyra/Ethan's parents were clearly just adopted. Their frustration with having no biological children remains.)
Game Freak are jealous of the fan spriters' skills and therefore specifically encrypted the Pokémon sprites in Diamond and Pearl in a format that is mind-numbingly difficult to rip.
Come on, even with the combined efforts of Eevee, loadingNOW and zhen lin, it took ages to rip the darn things. Obviously they've evilly invented an annoying image format so that they can dominate the Pokémon sprite market again. >:|
The Small-Feet Big-Arms Pokémon have taken over to exclude Mew the Big-Feet Small-Arms Pokémon.
Mewkitty and I figured this one out together. See, Mew has big feet and small arms and was in the first generation of Pokémon, but what do we get in the second and third? Celebi and Jirachi, who both have BIG ARMS AND SMALL FEET. And in the fourth generation, we get neither more nor less than THREE little thingies with big arms and small feet called Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf! Clearly, most of the fifth generation legendaries will have big arms and small feet (look at Victini!), and in the sixth they will take over the world.
Lance is a time-traveler.
His Aerodactyl in Gold, Silver and Crystal knew Rock Slide, which Aerodactyl couldn't learn at the time, and he had three Dragonite all under level 55. How? Well, people have speculated that he got ahold of a GameShark, but I say he merely traveled through time - possibly by catching Dialga, the Dragon-type Pokémon that controls time. Alternatively, Johto has time capsules, after all; he may have smuggled himself through one sometime by abusing his authority as the Champion. Then he simply taught his Aerodactyl Rock Slide in a time where it could learn it. Then, get this, he went to a Nintendo event at Toys'R'Us (in 2008) that was giving out level fifty Dragonite, got himself one and then nabbed two that were still in training, after which he returned to his world and time, knowing that nobody would dare accuse him of abusing time-travel because he was the Champion.
The Lance in R/B/Y, naturally, has gone back in time after training his Pokémon more, but then it appears he has regretted cheating and is no longer having his Aerodactyl use Rock Slide. Whether his one Dragonite there is one of the ones he got from the 2008 event is unknown, but his Dragonair might be the other two Dragonite after going through devolution, possibly a side-effect of leveling them up after whatever bizarre treatment they were given to make them evolve so early in the first place.
Page last modified September 11 2010 at 21:17 GMT