Anti-anti-pokémon!!!!!!!!!!!!, dear pokéhater, I'm NOT going to flame you here. If you want to know why, read the anti-anti-pokémon for pokéfans section.

Like with the pokémon fans, pokémon haters are split into several groups.

Have you found your group? Good. Here I have some tips for each group.

Tips for religious/anti-violence pokéhaters

Have you ever considered that pokémon fans think you are funny? Pokémon fans laugh at you. If I were you, I'd at least not tell any pokémon fan why you hate pokémon, because it makes pokémon fans laugh at you. Well, pokémon isn't satanic, and it doesn't teach kids to be violent. As a logical pokémon fan, I'm going to counter your most common reasons for hating pokémon right now.

Houndoom is satanic! It's an evil dog from hell!
"Oh no! Houndoom is going to jump out of the gameboy or TV or trading card and take me to hell! I'm soooo scared!"

It teaches the theory of evolution!
"The theory of evolution: When a cocoon is a week old, it will become a butterfly!" I have to say that this sounds more like "growing up" to me...

Pokémon is exactly like (insert a foreign religion here) because it has the elements fire, water, earth and air!
"Everything that has to do with foreign religions must be destroyed!" I don't recall to Jesus saying anything like that. Didn't he tell us to be nice to each other? I also believe that it's against the law to be against someone for their religion. Actually I don't see pokémon teaching any foreign religions by having Fire, Water, Ground and Flying among the 17 random types. I don't know anything about the religions mentioned in that article even after being a pokémon fan for years. And by the way, the dubbers made sure to leave not one bit of religion in the games or show when they translated it. They went through it thoroughly enough to make sure "Evil" was turned to "Dark". There isn't a bit of religion left in the games if there ever was any, so don't worry about your American kids...

"Pokémon" stands for pocket demons!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! This is the funniest thing ever! Really, I just need a bit of grammar to counter this. The plural of pokémon is pokémon. One pokémon, many pokémon. Not many pokémons, which would be if it were a combination of pocket and demon. So it isn't. If that doesn't convince you, it really is taking the first two symbols of Poketto (the closest thing to pocket that can be done with Japanese letters) and monsutaa (same, but for monster). Po, ke, mo and n. Pokémon. If that doesn't give you a hint, then I guess you can't be helped.

Pokémon teaches kids to solve all their problems with violence!
Pokémon like fighting. They need fighting. They love fighting. They want to be the strongest they can be. And they never kill in battle. Kids are not being any more violent by having pokémon battles than you are taking your dog for a walk. Excercise, that's what it is. Excercise.

Really, it does!
*sigh* You won't cut it out, will you? Okay, watch what I'm going to do now... *takes all anti-pokémon arguments that have to do with pokémon being violent, grabs a sword and cuts them with it, lets a nine-year-old kid tear the limbs and head off them and then throws them in the trash, all in front of dozens of kids while making them chant "burn them! Kill them all!"* Now, was that violent? Let me hear you all. "That was violent". Good. Everyone agrees on that? Great. Now, what if I tell you that this is EXACTLY what a PRIEST did to a stuffed Pikachu toy in order to show the kids how bad pokémon is? Hah! In your face.

Kids are attacking each other because someone has a rare pokémon card they want!
I have only one thing to say to this: Does that have anything at all to do with the fact that they're pokémon cards? No. They could as well be any other trading cards. So you're against trading cards, not pokémon. Then leave pokémon alone.

Tips for logical pokéhaters

The first thing I have to say is: Good. You are among the most mature pokémon haters, who actually know what they're doing. However, I'm not saying I'll leave it at that... here are some of logical pokémon haters' reasons, and my counters:

The game is terrible, it has no storyline and terrible graphics and those "cries" drive me crazy!
As for the no storyline thing, the storyline is just so customizeable it seems to some people like there is no storyline. Okay, the plot isn't very thick, I know that, but it isn't supposed to be. The thing is that you can play them forever and you've never just completed them. I have five gameboy games. Four of them are pokémon games, one is an action game, I can't even remember what it's called. I haven't played the action game for years. Why? Because I completed it long ago, and it's just boring. Pokémon, however, is always fresh, you can train your pokémon forever. That's why I still play my pokémon games, but not the action game. And what is supposed to be the main thing in pokémon games is strategy. Not the storyline. Strategy is what you need to play pokémon. Like in chess. You wouldn't say chess has no storyline? No, because it's not supposed to have one. Like pokémon isn't supposed to have some certain storyline you have to follow. As for the graphics, I have the feeling that you're talking about Red and Blue. But they're the very first games. The graphics improved a lot in Yellow, got bright colors in Gold, Silver and Crystal and good shading in Ruby and Sapphire. Bright colors weren't possible for Red, Blue and Yellow, shading wasn't possible for Gold, Silver and Crystal. As for the shape in Red and Blue... well, anyone can improve... As for the pokémon cries being annoying, then think about it. Making the pokémon make some sound when they enter the battle is a lot more realistic. If you don't care how realistic it is, why don't you just put the sound down? If you want them to have actual voices... well, in Yellow, Pikachu has an actual, recoded voice. That turned over a leaf in the history of gameboy games. If you want more pokémon to have recorded voices, give me a gameboy game with 386 recorded voices, and THEN I'll admit that it could've been better.

Pokémon are so stupid! They can only say their name!
Do you know why? Because it's the other way around. The pokémon are named after the noise they make. For example, if there was a cat in the pokémon world, it would've been named Meow. Some pokémon, like Onix, make noises that can't be turned into a name, so their name is not the noise they make. So I can revamp that reason to "The people in the pokémon world are so inoriginal! They can't think of decent names for the pokémon!" Starting to sound a bit stupid, isn't it?

Ash is stupid, gay, rude, etc.
Firstly, everyone has flaws. He'd be a very boring, uncreative character is he was perfect. Secondly, Ash =/= pokémon (Ash does not equal pokémon). Ash can be anything, but that doesn't mean pokémon is. There is a lot of pokémon fans who don't like Ash, but still love pokémon. Even if you don't like the main character of the show, it doesn't mean you won't like the games. Have you ever actually tried them?

Pokémon is gay!
I'll allow myself to put this up like Mewkitty did in her hilarious post at the pokemonicons forums:

You: Pokemon is gay!
A pokémon fan: Why?
You: Uhhh... I dunno, but it is!
A pokémon fan: Why?
You: Uhhh... because it is! I need to say anything more?

Pokémon isn't real anime!
Why do you say that? And really, who cares if your defination of real anime doesn't reach pokémon?

Pokémon is just for little kids! Get a life!
"Oh, now I understand! Pokémon is only for little kids, like... most pokémon fans, who are around sixteen!"

The plot of the [first] movie is so mindless and stupid!

Mindless? Uh... did you actually watch the movie? No, what am I saying, of course not, you hate pokémon! Or was the dub that bad? Well, anyway, I'll tell you what the movie actually was originally about, in the original Japanese version, and along with the radio drama about Mewtwo's birth that was in some special DVD's or something... we got it with the movie here, so I'm not sure. Anyway...
Giovanni, simply thinking about money, gets scientists to clone Mew, an ancient pokémon thought to be extinct, but very powerful. Giovanni wants to use it to make money. The scientists find a fossilized eyebrow of Mew, clone it, but alter the DNA to make it even more powerful than Mew. Now, it happens that the main scientist's daughter had died, and he had used her DNA to make a clone, although the clones can only live for four years. Because Mew has a strong lifeforce, he hopes he can find out Mew's secret and truly get his daughter back.
Mewtwo is born. Ai, the scientist's daughter, likes Mewtwo. Mewtwo is merely a confused child, doesn't know who he is, what place this is, nothing. But Mewtwo and Ai manage to communicate even as they're in seperate glass tubes. Ai tells Mewtwo what the sun is and stuff. Mewtwo asks why people are born, and she says it's because there's a father and a mother. He asks if they also have a father and a mother, and Ai tells him in their case it was most likely God. Then Ai dies, because she has lived for four years already. Mewtwo cries about it, and Mewtwo falls asleep, and sleeps until he's an adtult. Mewtwo is angry. He wants to know who he truly is. He breaks out of the glass tube and attacks the lab, doesn't know what these powers are, can't control them, nothing. Mewtwo is angry about being just a shadow of Mew, and when the scientist tells him that he was created by humans, he is very angry and destroys the lab. Giovanni appears and convinces Mewtwo to join him in taking over the world. Giovanni teaches Mewtwo to control his powers. Mewtwo starts getting overconfident, thinking "Why am I even listening to humans, I'm much stronger than them." But still, he lets Giovanni take him to a forest, and Giovanni tells him to attack all the pokémon in the forest. Mewtwo asks why, and Giovanni tells him that this is what he was created for. He attacks all the pokémon, and Giovanni catches them. Mewtwo asks himself why he's fighting, and asks Giovanni to release him. Giovanni says it's dangerous for humans, Mewtwo asks if he's just fighting for humans, Giovanni tells him he is, so Mewtwo says "What is my purpose? The least I know is that it's not being the slave of humans!" Mewtwo breaks free, attacks the Team Rocket headquarters, and goes back to the island where he was created. There, he decides that he will prove that he's stronger than Mew and that his life is actually worth something.
He wants to get the most powerful trainers, sets up a storm around the island and delivers a message to many strong trainers to come there. Some trainers die in the storm. Some don't even try to go through it. But a few get through the storm. Mewtwo battles them with his clones, as he rebuilt the lab and cloned some pokémon before. He wins, and then steals the pokémon and clones them, telling them that they're idiots letting humans control them. The clones fight the originals because they want to prove that they aren't worthless.
No, I'm not mentioning the corny scene where Ash stops their fight, because that has nothing to do with the point of the movie. The point of the movie was the clones fighting for the purpose of their lives and Mewtwo being created, abused and then his anger because he feels worthless having been created by humans for the sole purpose of helping Giovanni in making money and taking over the world. That's what you call DEEP. In fact, I'm quite sure that most movies you watch don't have as deep of a plot as Mewtwo Strikes Back. Maybe the dub was just that bad, but then read some of the detailed synopsis of the Japanese version that you can find in a lot of places on the net before making accusations. I mean, after all, everyone knows that everything that goes through a 4Kids dubbing comes out of it completely cleared of its depth, original music and dialogue...

Pokémon teaches children to be violent and to resolve their conflicts through fighting.

There is much more to Pokémon than simply the battle aspect of the game. Those with tender hearts can become the world’s greatest Pokémon breeders, while those who love show business can enter Pokémon contests, and be the apple of every audience’s eye. There is something for everyone in the world of Pokémon. After all, we must not forget the more offbeat Pokémon video games outside of the Red-Blue-Yellow-Gold-Silver-Crystal-Ruby-Sapphire lineup that most of us think of when we discuss Pokémon: Pokémon Snap for the Nintendo 64 (here, the player merely photographs Pokémon in their natural habitat), Pokémon Pinball for the Game Boy Color (surely there can be nothing violent about pinball games), and Hey You, Pikachu! for the Nintendo 64 (what’s wrong with befriending a hyper-cute electric mouse and accompanying him on lighthearted adventures like finding treasure or making a stew with his fellow Pokémon?).
Neither should we forget that Pokémon battling is a sport, and must be treated as such. There’s a reason why there are so many rules regarding battles: if there were no such rules, then Pokémon battles would, in essence, be street fights and barroom brawls. Because a trainer is limited to using six Pokémon in any battle (and sometimes as few as three in a Pokémon Stadium setting), this prevents the employment of a pure “strength in numbers” theory that must be used when nations go to war with each other. Brute force is frequently not enough for a Pokémon trainer to win a battle. To win, a trainer must be creative, and train his Pokémon in moves that are diverse and “super-effective” against his opponents. The moves need not be devastating, just advantageous in light of the opponent’s weakness (i.e., using low-end Water moves to fell a strong Fire-type Pokémon). There is also the fact that trainers may not steal each other’s Pokémon. In a war, the concept of “winner-take-all” is in place: the victor would have carte blanche in taking whatever he chose from his victim. History has revealed this to us time and time again, from the Roman occupation of much of Europe to the colonization of Africa in the 19th century.
The fact that winners only get money, Gym Badges, Technical Machines, and trophies reinforce the concept of good sportsmanship, and firmly establishes the idea that Pokémon are to be the comrades, and not the property, of a trainer. They are to be treated with respect and dignity, a viewpoint that Ash from the television show and the movies makes clear as he develops an increasingly intimate friendship with his Pikachu. Even Nurse Joy (see the television episode where Ash first meets Charmander) made clear the idea that battles were not designed to resolve personal conflicts, but to be used as a form of sport.
This is where Team Rocket trips on a stumbling block: its goal is not to have fun and compete fairly, but to steal for the benefit of its own members. Nor do its members treat their own Pokémon as friends; instead, they regard them as slaves to help them achieve their own diabolical ends. They are just in it for the money and the power that comes with it, and it is this attitude toward life that makes them so miserable and wretched. Team Rocket is not a typical example of a Pokémon organization; indeed, it is the exact antithesis of everything a good trainer will stand for.

The above was sent in by Latios. Some very good points there.

Tips for picture pokéhaters

If anything is violent about pokémon, it's people like you. People who draw pokémon being killed and think they're oh so funny. Hmmm... "disgusting" would maybe be a better word? Or "very pointless thing to do"? Actually, most of you aren't even good artists, no offense. You just go and find official pictures, go to Paint and paint some red over it, maybe take the head off and put it beside it and put some red between... actually, when I see pictures of that quality done by pokémon lovers, I'm embarrassed. Are you sure real pokémon haters aren't embarrassed too when they see work of that quality? Now, in case there are any picture pokéhaters who actually know how to draw (if there are, I've never seen their pictures) and you are one of them, congratulations. I won't bother you, you're just drawing what you want to draw and showing your art. But just some advice, I think you should put a warning somewhere telling the six-year-olds who may stumble across your site that they shouldn't view those pictures. I know that you should because I myself saw pictures of Pikachu being killed when I was ten years old. Of course I didn't get nightmares of it or anything, but if I had been four years younger, I might.

Tips for "cussing them out" pokéhaters

Now, I absolutely love this type. Please, tell me, why do you hate pokémon? Other than "it's gay". Think about it carefully, why do you hate pokémon? Take your time. If you don't know why you hate pokémon, then you don't really hate pokémon. If you know why, then you have advanced to one of the other levels of a pokéhater. Find your type above, then read this section again. Find out that you should leave me alone, then do.

That's about it. Please note that I did not flame you anywhere here, so you shouldn't flame me either. That's just a basic rule of human communication.

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