The Wonders of Modern Technology

-

By Dannichu

Disclaimer: YOU CAN’T SUE ME!!! I HAVE RIGHTS!!! RIGHTS!!! (Along come the people in white coats…)

Dedication: To all those insane people out there… O_o –especially --you guessed it-- Sarah the Swinub. Oh yeah, and to Butterfree, who gave me some fun phrases to work with ^-^

Rating: Mad. Completely mad. If you are halfway sane, you will be running away now.

Author’s notes: Okay, those of you who have read The Pokémon Oscar or Fun in Cyberspace, you will (hopefully) be familiar with someone sending someone else (in this case, Butterfree sending me), about twenty phrases to turn into a mad story. If not, I think I just explained it. Here are the phrases Butterfree sent to me:

1. Oh, can't you just die later? I'm kinda busy right now. -
2. Oh no! ____ is coming... WITH A BOTTLE OF ELECTRONIC SPEAROWS! -
3. Stop! Listen! This iron club is telling me the secrets of life! -
4. Those are to big. Give me smaller ones. -
5. Really, you shouldn't listen to someone like ____. -
6. Oh no! It's a link cable! Everyone fears the dreaded link cable! -
7. No! It was me! -
8. I'd like to call it "personal preferences that shall be obeyed, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" -
9. I don't think that's iceberg. -
10. Just move a little to the right... no, more to the left... and then KABOOM! -
11. That didn't hurt... AAAAEEEEYYYYYEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
12. The batteries are starting to get pink spots! We must hurry!-
13. Do not disassemble, recharge or dispose in fire. Or else...-
14. The markings are fading away. Are you sure that was the real thing? -
15. Achoo! Whoops, guess I had a bleeding nose... -
16. Quick! Grab the pencil, the hi-tech bread making machine, the bowling ball and the pizza case, and then GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!! -
17. Ahem... who stole the cookies from the cookie jar????? -
18. I'd like a sliced egg, please. -
19. What an amazing pillow! -
20. There are many mysteries in the world, my dear ____. -

Oh yeah, I’ll be using the same Pokémon as last time, the ones everyone knows and loves, except I’m not having Meowth and I’m having Totodile in instead. Of course we have the utterly mad Pokémon; clue: MWA HA HA!

Okay, here goes nothing…

Pichu: I don’t see why we have to go to this stupid thing anyway.
Pikachu: It’ll be fun!
Pichu: Just like all the other horrific adventures we’ve had when Dannichu’s writing about us.
Pikachu: That is beside the point.
Squirtle: Don’t you want to see all the wonderful, new, hi-tech things that you can get?
Pichu: Not really.
Togepi: I can think of things I’d rather do.
Bulbasaur: We’re nearly there! Should be around here!
Totodile: Hey! There it is! (points to the ‘modern technology’ roadshow)
Charmander: Wow! It’s huge!
(everyone sees different stalls that grab their attention)
Pichu: Wow! (sees a stall with cookie jar on) I wanna go to this one! (runs off with Pikachu following)
Charmander: A fortune-telling club? I want to see this!
Squirtle: Wait! Wait for me! (runs off after Charmander)
Bulbasaur: A sweet-dream-inducing pillow? Wow! (runs off)
Totodile: Hey, Togepi, want to go and see the everlasting batteries?
Togepi: Fine, not much else to do. (wanders off with Totodile to battery stall)

Sandshrew (owner of stall): Here is a product for ground-type Pokémon. Keep your things safe with this all-new electrified cookie jar!
Pichu: Wow! I want one! I’m practically resistant to electricity!
Bulbasaur: I don’t think you want one. Look at the price.
Pichu: Ahhh… If I can’t have the jar…
Sandshrew: As you can see, it is completely-WHAT?! Ahem... who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?????
Pichu: (whistling innocently) I have no idea…

***

Espeon: Yes! This iron club will tell you all you need to know about life! Your future, your luck, everything! Get one now!
Squirtle: How do you mange that?
Charmander: Stop! Listen! This iron club is telling me the secrets of life!
Squirtle: What?
Charmander: Listen!
Club: There are many mysteries in the world, my dear Pokémon.
Squirtle: That’s it?!
Charmander: Isn’t it amazing?! I’m getting one!
Squirtle: That’s what it says to everyone!!!
Charmander: I don’t care! I… want one.
Espeon: That will be 999,999 credits please.
Charmander: Yes…
Squirtle: Charmander! She’s controlling you! Snap out of it!!!
Charmander: … (hands over money)
Squirtle: I can’t believe this! (grabs club and hits Espeon).
Espeon: (Falls unconscious)
Charmander: What did you do!? I was about to buy that!!!
Squirtle: You weren’t under a spell?! Oh man…(runs away)

***

Sneasal: Yes, it is guaranteed that this pillow will give you an amazingly good dream every night!
Bulbasaur: What an amazing pillow! (picks it up)
Sneasal: Only 750,000 credits!
Bulbasaur: Wow! I’d love to get this! How does it work?
Sneasal: It…uh…psychic powers!
Bulbasaur: Really? How did you manage to psychic it?
Sneasal: I…um…give it here! (snatches pillow)
Bulbasaur: Wha? (doesn’t let go – the pillow rips, showering feathers everywhere)
Combusken: Hey, it’s just an ordinary pillow!
Electabuzz: Yeah! He’s ripping us all off!
Combusken: Get him!!!
(practically everyone in the crowd chases Sneasal except Bulbasaur)
Bulbasaur: Why me?

***

Totodile: So these batteries will last forever, right?
Raichu: Yes, forever and a day; Just do not disassemble, recharge or dispose in fire. Or else...
Togepi: Or else what?
Raichu: Nothing. You want them?
Totodile: Yeah, you see, the old batteries on my Gameboy Advance ran out, so I need some new ones.
Raichu: These?
Totodile: Those are too big. Give me smaller ones.
Raichu: Ah, I see. Okay, here you go. That will be 5,000 credits, thank you.
Totodile (hands over money) Thanks.
Bulbasaur: Hey, Totodile, hey Togepi. What’s up?
Togepi: He’s getting some batteries.
Totodile: What are you all doing here? Didn’t you get anything?
Pikachu: I didn’t get a chance to. Someone stole all the cookies from one of the stalls.
Charmander: Someone knocked out the owner of the stall, just as I was about to buy their product.
Bulbasaur: And someone ripped me off.
Togepi: You sure like emphasizing the word ‘someone’.
Kadabra: (appears from nowhere) Mwa ha ha!!!
Pikachu: How the heck did you just appear there?
Kadabra: Ever hear of teleportation?
Pikachu: Ah. Now can you please go away?! Every time we run into you, something horrific happens to us.
Kadabra: Make me.
Charmander: Chhhaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! (uses flamethrower on Kadabra)
Kadabra: Aaarrrgghhh!!!
Raichu: Ack! My batteries!!! My batteries!!! You burnt them!!! (picks them all up)
Kadabra: I‘m dying… Slowly dying…
Raichu: Oh, can't you just die later? I'm kinda busy right now! If these make contact with fire, they explode!!!
Togepi: Explode?
Raichu: Yeah, but they didn’t get a full blast, we could be okay. The first sign to look for is pink spots.
Bulbasaur: Spots?
Pichu: Are they spots, growing on them?
Raichu: The batteries are starting to get pink spots! We must hurry! Tey’ll move and explode!!!
Charmander: Move?
Raichu: They just move a little to the right... no, more to the left... and then KABOOM!
Pikachu: Uh, is it me or are the spots fading?
Totodile: Hey, the markings are fading away. Are you sure that was the real thing?
Togepi: Well, they looked like it.
Bulbasaur: They’re moving!!! I swear they’re moving!!!
Raichu: (yells to other stall owners) Quick! Grab the pencil, the hi-tech bread making machine, the bowling ball and the pizza case, and then GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!
Pikachu: What?!
Raichu: They’re going to explode!!! RUN!!!
Everyone: (runs)
BOOM!!!
Everyone: Aaarrrgghhh!!!
Charmander: Everyone okay?
Togepi: I’m fine.
Pichu: Me too.
Bulbasaur: I’m fine…ine..ine…
Pikachu: What?
Bulbasaur: Achoo! Whoops, guess I had a bleeding nose...
Totodile: That didn't hurt... AAAAEEEEYYYYYEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Charmander: Are you okay?!
Totodile: Yeah, I’m fine.
Sneasal: Oh no! Kadabra is coming... WITH A BOTTLE OF ELECTRONIC SPEAROWS!
Pichu: Help!!!
Bulbasaur: Really, you shouldn't listen to someone like Sneasal. He lies all the time.
Sneasal: HE HAS A BOTTLE OF ELECTRONIC SPEAROWS AND A LINK CABLE!!!
Kadabra: Yes! Feel the wrath of the link cable!!!
Squirtle: Oh no! It's a link cable! Everyone fears the dreaded link cable!
Kadabra: Yes! And now I'd like a sliced egg, please. With iceberg lettuce and a side of tomatoes.
Togepi: (growls) Why…?
Kadabra: (getting angry) I'd like to call it "personal preferences that shall be obeyed, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Bulbasaur: Fine! Here! (grabs food from a hot-dog stand nearby)
Kadabra: (swallows it in one go) *Burp* I don’t think that’s iceberg.
Bulbasaur: Maybe because I put sleeping pills in it!
Kadabra: WHA?! Zzzzz……
Togepi: Yay!
Pikachu: Hooray! You did it!
Charmander: No! It was me! I put in the sleeping pills!
Squirtle: Where’d you get sleeping pills?
Charmander: Over there (points to stall).
Pichu: ‘Sleeping pills. Extra powerful. Guaranteed to make the user fall asleep for at least five hundred years’
Charmander: Oops.

Yay!!! Another one done! I rule! I rule!!! ^___________^

Pleeeeeeze review! I really want to know what you think!!! Pretty please with a cherry on top? Thanks ;)

Dannichu
x-x-x

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