ATTACK OF THE KILLER CATERPIES
By Aero Absol
CHAPTER 2 OF 3
Journey to the Center of Jeff!
Pikachu: Where did you come from? You werenít there when the narrator said "TO BE CONTINUED!"
Pikachu: Never mind.
Jeff: I feel sick. I have worms in my gut!
Pikachu: Please! Donít say that in front of people that actually have some value of not saying something nauseating!
Espeon: You arenít helping!
Satoshi Tajiri: Neither are you! Those Alien Caterpies took over the planet while Pikachu said that really long sentence.
Espeon: Way to go. I outta Psybeam you a lesson! (Psybeams Pikachu)
Pikachu: One problem at a time! Jeff, do you mean that Caterpies are inside you?
Jeff: Yes! Shrink and enter my body! Maybe they canít regenerate when theyíre inside me!
Pidgey: Good idea! No wonder you work for Team Rocket!
Jeff: Yeah....sure. Anyway, SHRINK NOW!!
Espeon: Do you really think Pikachu is smart enough to build a shrinking machine in five seconds?
Jeff: No, but you are.
In five minutes...
Jeff: I thought you could finish it in five seconds!
Espeon: I never said that! Donít make me stick this welding torch up-
Pikachu: This is no time to argue! Tell it to Jerry Springer.
Pidgey: Lets just stop this freaking Caterpies from Space!
Latios Baby: Beam me up, Espeon!
Espeon: Donít you mean "Beam me in?"
Latios Baby: Shut up. I just hatched today.
Espeon: Sorry Mr. Iím so cool Iím a legendary dragon....
Latios Baby: YOU LITTLE-
Espeon: If you just hatched, how did you know that Star Trek phrase?
Latios Baby: Are we gonna argue or kick Alien Caterpie butt?
Espeon: Youíre right. Dang right!
Latios: NOW!! (Ice beams Espeon) GOD! Youíre so slow! (Hits button, all get vaporized)
Inside Jeff the Croconaw...
Pikachu: Is it true my name means Sparkle Squeak?
Espeon: Sadly. Look! Caterpies! (Zaps them but misses)
Jeff: Ow! My gallbladder!
Espeon: Weíll blame Pikachu. Heís so cute, no one will get mad at him.
Pidgey: Iím a @%#^ Pokemon too, you know!
Espeon: Yes, but you are bitter and swear.
Pidgey: That is @%#%^% #$
Espeon: See what I mean?
Latios Baby: Anyway, Iíll use Psychic. ( uses Psychic and hits Caterpies)
Espeon: I CAN USE THAT TOO Yí KNOW!!
Now everyone is arguing. Pidgey envies Pikachu. Espeon envies that cute little Baby-
Espeon: Whoís side are you on?
Um... Iím out of here! (Runs away)
Pikachu: Great job! You scared him! (Thunder shocks Caterpies) Well, I did beat some evil aliens, but I missed! (Shocks Espeon)
Caterpie Leader: Beware, we are stronger than you think! We will String shot you to death! (Shoots string)
Pikachu: Geez! I thought this would never happen again after I left the Viridian Forest!
Espeon: Itís a miracle you can talk with all that string on your face.
Pidgey: Iíll use Gust!
Espeon: Be careful not to miss- ( Pidgey misses and hurts Jeff)
Jeff: Agh! I need water! (Gulps a bottle of water)
Pikachu: Oh no! Itís a flood! (Starts to drown, lets off a Thunder shock)
Jeff: WAUGH!! WHATíS GOING ON IN ME?
Pidgey: I am in constant agony...
Latios Baby: Jeff must have drunk a lot of water.
Espeon: Please! We need to stop the Caterpies! We electrocuted Jeff from the inside. Now can we do something right?
Caterpie: No, you canít. You are our prisoners.
Espeon: You canít even try to keep this G rated can you?
Caterpie 2: Shut up. You are our prisoners, Plusle, Tailow, Absol, and Latios!
Espeon: Weíre Pikachu, Pidgey, Espeon, and Latios!
Caterpie 2: Pft! 3 out of 4 wrong. Big deal!
Espeon: Thatís 75% wrong!
Caterpie 3: Shut up and march up the esophagus.
Espeon: Werenít we at the gallbladder a moment ago?
Caterpie: You donít know when to shut up, do you?
Later, outside of Jeff.....
Espeon: Now were are we?
Espeon: We didnít warp into another world just to be in Utah!
Caterpie: You are in the Matrix!
Espeon: Coo koo! Coo koo!
Caterpie 2: Shut up Dwayne. Weíre in a high tech prison in Orre.
Espeon: Did you say Orre?
Caterpie: Ye- huh?
Espeon: Orre prisons are easy to escape from!
Scizor (now a zombie): Must.... stop....enemies...
Espeon: RUN AWAY!!
Latios Baby: Or I could fly us awa-(sees everyone already running) Alright! Iíll run!
Can I say it now?
Pikachu: You ran away before!
I know. Can I say it?
TO BE CONTINUED