“You shall die!”

“No, you shall die!”

“No, you shall die!”

“You shall die FIRST!”

“You shall die first!”

“None of you are going to die, it’s a Pokemon battle, you idiots” the tired referee
said. 

“Let’s get this happening!” Jack, the eight year old said. 

“Yeah, let’s get it on!” Matt, the seven year old said. 

“Yeah, let’s make it raise da roof!” Jack shouted. 

“Let’s make it rock the house!” Matt said. 

“Just hurry up and start!” the short-tempered referee said.

“Ok, I’ll get my Pokeball out” Matt said.

“Not if I get mine out first!” Jack said. 

“You couldn’t get it out quickly if you tried!” Matt responded. 

“I could get a Pokeball out quicker then you, even if you had a Pokeball-getting class”
Jack said. 

“Oh yeah?” Matt shouted. 

“Yeah!” 

“Just get them out at the same time!” the crotchety referee said. 

They both pulled out there Pokeballs at the exact same time. Curiously, this happened
at the same moment a random dog in the real word barked. This is considered to be an
extremely minor part of the story though, so I’ll shut up and let the battle continue. 

“Ok, I’ll send my Pokemon out” Jack said. 

“Not if I send mine out first!” Matt said. 

“Oh no you don’t! Get them out at the same time!” the all-knowing referee said. 
They both sent out there Pokemon. Matt had a Poliwag and Jack had a Caterpie. They
both looked very disgruntled, but both of them seemed ready to battle. The referee
couldn’t help but think this would be there first battle. 

“My Poliwag rocks!” 

“My Caterpie raises the roof more then your Poliwag raises the roof!” 

“My Poliwag breaks it down better!” 

“My Caterpie can moonwalk!” 

A sweat drop came down the referee’s head. He knew full well that Pokemon could not
moonwalk. 

“My Poliwag can dance like Justin Timberlake!” 

“My Caterpie can rap like Eminem!”

The referee fell down, nearly fainting, with the shock of the enormity of the lie that
was just told. 

“My Poliwag has got thirty medals!” 

“My Caterpie has forty medals AND a trophy!” 

“Don’t get me started on trophies! My Poliwag has ten of them!” 

“My Caterpie is level 3,607!” 

“My Poliwag is level infinity!” 

“Oh my God…” the referee muttered. 

“My Caterpie can…”

“Will you just get on with the battle!” the anxious referee said. 

“Ok, Caterpie, use, erm…”  

“Poliwag, get in there with, err….” 

“Well, Caterpie, try using that, err…” 

“Poliwag, use that, err…” 

“Don’t tell me you don’t know any moves!” Jack sniggered. 

“Yes I do! I know ten!” 

“I know twenty!”

“I know thirty!

“I know one hundred!”

“I know four-thousand seven hundred and eighty three!”

“I know every single move in existence!”

“I know every single move in existence AND some hidden moves!” 

“I know them, AND the secret moves that only big important people know!” 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Uh-huh?”

“Uh-huh!”

“Wanna bet?”

“Yeah I’ll bet!”

“You can’t bet!”

“I can bet! I am good at betting!”

“I can bet better then you!”

“I am a betting master!”

“I am the king of betting!”

“I invented betting!” 

“Just use some damn moves!” the inpatient referee said. 

“Ok, Caterpie, use bazooka!” 

“Poliwag, use mega-bazooka!” 

“Caterpie, use double-mega bazooka!” 

“Poliwag, use triple-mega bazooka!” 

“Caterpie, use infinity-bazooka!” 

“There isn’t a move called bazooka!” the discontented referee said. 

“Ok, Caterpie, use tackle!” 

The Caterpie ran over to the Poliwag, and tapped it. Poliwag fainted immediately, but
then the Caterpie fainted from the effort.

“Ha, your Caterpie fainted!” 

“Your Poliwag fainted first!” 

“Your Caterpie double-fainted!” 

“Your Poliwag triple-fainted!” 

“Your Caterpie mega fainted!” 

“Your Poliwag infinity fainted!” 

“Shut up! Nobody won, since both of your Pokemon were unable to fight, they were too
weak!” The referee said. 

“Oh yeah, well what do you know? You’re discontented, inpatient, anxious, all-knowing,
crotchety, and short-tempered AND tired!” Jack and Matt said in union, before walking
off.