(A/N: This is a parody of bad Pokémon fics that also includes flat-out ranting that's not exactly humourous. The first chapter should be read to have a basic understanding of the concept, but otherwise the chapters aren't very linked to each other so you should be fine skipping some if you feel like it.)

Chapter 1

Once upon a time, there was a girl.

All of a sudden, she started to exist. She didn't know how or why; she just did. All around her was darkness. She herself was merely a spirit.

She was twelve years old.

She felt herself grow a body; the body of a young girl. Or well, more like a black, misty shape that would vaguely remind the viewer of a young girl.

She had flaming red hair

“AHHH! IT BURNS!!!” she screamed as her hair blazed up in fire. Thankfully it died down after a second, to be replaced with normal, red hair with an unknown haircut.

and dazzling green eyes

She blinked a few times with her new eyes. At least she wouldn’t appear like just as much of a freak now as she had just a minute earlier.

and her name was Ashley Ketchum Waterflower.

“Oh, no, please, not that name,” Ashley groaned. But this was the author's will.

Her parents were Ash Ketchum, 36, and Misty Waterflower, 32.

Memories started coming to Ashley, of her father and mother. Misty had been sent into space where time passes slower, which was why Ash was now four years older than her while he had been two years younger when they were kids.

It was now her birthday and she was really excited because she would now be getting her first Pokémon.

Ashley felt an unexplainable feeling of excitement. She'd be getting a Pokémon! From the memories she had just earned, she had looked forward to this day for her whole life.

Her father took her to his lab

She found herself in a very dark place. It was some kind of a laboratory, but everything was shrouded in shadow so that the details were impossible to make out. She saw her father, or at least what she assumed was him since it was so dark, standing near her. The place was way too depressing for the unnatural, jumpy feeling in her stomach.

and handed her a Pokéball.

Ash, or at least his shadow, gave her a small sphere. She couldn’t see it in the dark, so she just took it.

“This is Articuno,” he said. “Use it wisely.”

Ashley gave him a strange look. “Dad,” she said unsurely, “isn’t Articuno a Legendary Pokémon?”

“Of course it is,” he replied. “But what wouldn’t I do for my lovely little Mary-Sue of a daughter?”

She shrugged.

“Thanks, Dad,” Ashley said and went out of the lab.

She felt a bit guilty about leaving her parents without even saying goodbye, but again, it was the author’s will. There was nothing at all outside except black. Then she felt herself fade away.


She reappeared in some kind of a room. Unlike the darkish surroundings she had been in earlier, this one was filled with light and warmth. It was rather plain – just white walls, white floor and white ceiling with a fire burning merrily in a fireplace at the end – but to her delight, she found a crowd of girls there.

Some of them looked fine, but unfortunately a lot of them were just shadows like her. Many weren’t even lucky enough to have hair or eyes at all.

“Hey, you new?” came a girl from behind her. She looked about fourteen years old and wore a yellow T-shirt with a Pokéball on the front and black pants.

“Yeah,” said Ashley thankfully. “What place is this?”

“It’s the Pokémon Fanfiction Character Camp,” the girl explained swiping a strand of her dark blue hair out of her bright green eyes. “The girls’ house, to be exact. My name is Abby.”

“I’m Ashley,” she replied, blushing.

“Uh huh,” said Abby, raising her eyebrows. “Ash and Misty’s daughter, I assume?”

“Yeah,” Ashley sighed.

“Now…” Abby ran her eyes around Ashley’s shadowed body, “I can tell from a mile away that your author is bad, but just how bad? How long was your first chapter?”

“Well,” Ashley muttered, “ten sentences, including the ‘Chapter 1’ at the top.”

Abby shook her head. “Really bad,” she said.

“I envy you, you’re at least described properly,” Ashley said miserably. “How long have you been here?”

“Actually…” Abby leant closer to Ashley and whispered, “I’m not technically even here yet.”

“What do you mean?” asked Ashley, confused.

“Well, you see, I’m still in my first chapter. My author is writing a fic about us right now.”

“Really?” Ashley asked, her eyes wide. “You mean we have the same author?”

“Well, see… your author is a character of mine’s, if you get what I mean.”

Ashley shrugged. She didn’t exactly get it, but she felt that Abby would never be able to fully explain it to her.

“Anyway,” Abby changed the subject, “that’s how I know all this stuff about this place. My author made me know it.” She winked. “If you’re wondering about something, just ask.”

“All right…” Ashley thought for a second. “What will happen tomorrow?”

“Your second chapter will be written,” said Abby. “In your author’s world, many days may pass, or even just hours, but here it’s always one day. When you wake up tomorrow, you’ll be in your fic.”

“Oh man,” Ashley groaned. Abby giggled.

“Well, I assure you that you’re not the worst one off here. Tonight you’ll get to hear some stories, and by the time you get to bed, you’re going to feel very, very thankful for your author.”

Ashley had the feeling that she had been born into a world of pain.