var next = new Array();

next[0] = "Oh, now you've gone and done it. You may not realize it, but you have stumbled upon a horror unlike anything you have ever faced before, a danger that has never occurred in your wildest dreams! It is...$$...a boring scroll of text with a prize at the end of it that you'll most likely feel compelled to get and therefore sit through the whole thing.$$Well, okay, fine. You can exit at any time. The point is, knowing that you have a reward waiting for you, will you leave in the knowledge that you will have forfeited the reward you might have acquired if you had just held on a little longer? Or will you endure till the end? We shall see.$$The way this goes is that I will ramble on about random things, and you will sit there and listen. Read. Whatever. If you are bored to tears, nothing is stopping you from just clicking that lovely little Back button in your browser at any point. However, going off and doing something else while this goes on so that you can get the prize without being subjected to the torments of reading it is not a good idea, since there will never be any good indication of how much longer there is to go, and if your attention is not on the marquee when the prize comes along, you will miss it, making it all for nought.$$So are you ready to /face the Marquee/? :o";
next[1] = "You stayed! Great. So how to start this off...$$How was the Team Rocket motto again?$$Prepare for trouble...$Make it double!$To protect the world from devastation;$to unite all peoples within our nation!$To denounce the evils of truth and love;$to extend our reach to the stars above!$Jessie!$James!$Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!$Surrender now, or prepare to fight!$Meowth, that's right!$$Wasn't that fun? Well, about as fun as Team Rocket's actual appearances in the anime are, anyway.$$...well, because I am such a proud Icelander, I just /have/ to show you what the motto looks like in Icelandic:$$Vandi...$Mikill vandi!$Svo heimurinn eyðist ekki í bráð,$þá heimtum við tafarlaust heimsyfirráð!$Okkur er sama um sannleika og ást;$að síðustu skal okkar takmark nást!$Jessie!$James!$Team Rocket klíkan fer um fljótt,$og sigrar óvini sína skjótt!$Mjá, einmitt!$$Literally translated, that means something like this:$$Trouble...$Lots of trouble!$So the world won't be destroyed for a while,$we demand world domination immediately!$We don't care about truth and love;$in the end we will reach our goal!$Jessie!$James!$The Team Rocket gang goes around quickly,$and defeats its enemies fast!$Meow, exactly!$$Quite lame, isn't it? For no particular reason, I've attempted some better translations of that motto into English (which makes it an English translation of an Icelandic translation of an English translation of a Japanese motto, but who cares), complete with gratuitous rhyming and alliteration; the current version is this:$$Trouble...$Lots of trouble!$So the world won't be doomed to sink like a stone,$we dutifully demand its throne!$Truth and love are trivial things;$we are what the future brings!$Jessie!$James!$Team Rocket, the super-fast,$will bring you down in a single blast!$Meow, that's right!$$I actually kind of like it, though my translation skills could use some work.";
next[2] = "Well, on the subject of Icelandic, now I think I'm going to write something extremely interesting that you won't understand. Ahem.$$Heiðurinn af því að enduruppgötva áhrif þessara lyfja á reglulegan hjartslátt fellur ekki lækni í skaut, heldur leikmanni, jafnóþekktum og gömlu konunni, sem kom Withering á sporið. Dag nokkurn árið 1912 kom maður einn á læknastofu Karls Wenckebachs í Vínarborg og kvartaði undan óeðlilegum hjartslætti. Nafns hans er ekki getið í skýrslum. Wenckebach læknir skoðaði sjúklinginn, en kvaðst síðan ekki geta lofað honum neinni bót. Maðurinn sagðist þá geta læknað þetta sjálfur.$$And I'm not going to translate this for you, because I'm too evil. Yay.";
next[3] = "So! Now I'll, uh, tell you a story that makes no sense! Once upon a time, there was a hairbrush that decided it would be best to abandon humanity and retreat to the woods with its faithful friend, the internet. Of course, no one cared that the hairbrush was gone, but because the internet was gone, no one could help dancing the macarena on top of a phoenix and singing the Icelandic national anthem while$$...Hey, there's an idea! This time I won't be that unfair by not telling you what it means. It's pretty hard to understand even if you know the language, since it involves a small flower of eternity that dies when it worships God. I kid you not.$$So here it is, for your viewing pleasure: \"Lofsöngur\", the Icelandic national anthem.$$Ó guð vors lands, ó lands vors guð!$Vér lofum þitt heilaga, heilaga nafn!$Úr sólkerfum himnanna hnýta þér krans,$þínir herskarar, tímanna safn!$Fyrir þér er einn dagur sem þúsund ár,$og þúsund ár dagur, ei meir!$Eitt eilífðar smáblóm með titrandi tár,$sem tilbiður guð sinn og deyr.$Íslands þúsund ár,$Íslands þúsund ár!$Eitt eilífðar smáblóm með titrandi tár,$sem tilbiður guð sinn og deyr.$$It's a pretty weird national anthem; it's a hymn that makes one brief mention of anything related to Iceland, and even that one mention feels grossly out of context, as if it had been tacked on just so that it had an excuse to be a national anthem. That and the part about the small flower. And apparently it's one of the hardest national anthems in the world to sing, meaning it's not only meaningless but quite hard to try to sing it as an act of patriotism. Of course, that might be a conspiracy to keep patriotism to manageable levels, which I'm all for. I hate patriotism.";
next[4] = "Just to extend the irony of that previous part, I will continue to go on about Iceland. It's time for explaining the intricacies of Icelandic grammar! Actually, I'm going to cheat; I have this Icelandic-English dictionary that conveniently has a grammar portion, which I'm just going to copy. Lazy me.$$Introductory Comments: Icelandic is, like Russian, Latin, and Ancient Greek, a highly inflected language with extremely variable inflection patterns. As far as possible, every one of these patterns has been included here.$$Nouns: The declensions of each noun can be worked out using the information given alongside the relevant headword in the dictionary and the notes that accompany the tables given here in Grammar.$$Adjectives: As in German and Old English, adjectives have both a strong and weak declension\; different forms of the adjective are used depending on whether the thing or person referred is definite or indefinite (the red house /rauða húsið/; a red house /rautt hús/).$$Pronouns: For pronouns, feminine and neuter singular forms and all the nominative plurals are given in the body of the dictionary alongside the headform which is the masculine nominative singular. In the case of personal pronouns these inflected forms also feature as independent headwords. In case of uncertainity, desired forms of any pronoun can be looked up in the tables provided here.$$Verbs: It has not been possible to mention all the variations here, but the basic patterns are presented in detail. No special attention is given to the reflexive or middle-voice forms, which are characterized by the -st ending (e.g. the reflexive infinitive of /bjóða/ is /bjóðast/).$$...okay, screw this. Holding the dictionary with one hand and typing with the other is tiring. I'm sure I can find something else to go on about...";
next[5] = "Well. Now, you should have been reading this marquee for something like thirteen minutes, at least if it's running at the same speed as for me, but I'm sure it felt like half an hour. Are you feeling tempted to leave yet? No? Oh, well. I'll just have to continue, then.$$Hey, actually, remember that bit in Icelandic I said near the beginning? You know, the one that went \"Heiðurinn af því að enduruppgötva áhrif þessara lyfja á reglulegan hjartslátt fellur ekki lækni í skaut, heldur leikmanni, jafnóþekktum og gömlu konunni, sem kom Withering á sporið. Dag nokkurn árið 1912 kom maður einn á læknastofu Karls Wenckebachs í Vínarborg og kvartaði undan óeðlilegum hjartslætti. Nafns hans er ekki getið í skýrslum. Wenckebach læknir skoðaði sjúklinginn, en kvaðst síðan ekki geta lofað honum neinni bót. Maðurinn sagðist þá geta læknað þetta sjálfur\"? Well, I've changed my mind; I am going to translate it for you after all. Here is what it means:$$The honour of rediscovering the effect of these medicines on regular heartbeat goes not to a doctor but a player, as unknown as the old woman who got Withering on the right track. One day in 1912, a man entered Karl Wenckebach's office in Vienna and complained about abnormal heartbeat. His name is not disclosed in any files. Dr. Wenckebach examined the patient, but then said he could not promise he could help him at all. The man then said he could heal this himself.$$If your face is one big question mark right now, that's a passage from a book I have about the history of medicine, which makes little sense out of context, but at least now you can hopefully consider your curiosity satisfied.";
next[6] = "Okay, so since we're having such a fun discussion about languages, I'm going to continue that. If you're bilingual, you're probably aware of how sometimes you're thinking something in one language and know perfectly how to word it, but then find yourself at a loss when you try to translate what you're thinking into the other language. The closest equivalent phrase might be approximately what you mean, but it never quite encapsulates the /exact/ meaning you were going for with the original, if you know what I mean. It always feels just a tiny bit different. When you still don't have a very good feel for one of the languages, you don't get that feeling much, but slowly you begin to realize it. It drives me crazy. If you've ever read 1984, this hints that the Party's plan to limit what people could think using Newspeak would have worked, scarily enough. The basic concept, if you haven't read it, is that the Party, the totalitarian government ruling the portion of the world that the story happens in, is developing a new language, Newspeak, whose goal is to replace English entirely. In Newspeak there is no word for any of the political concepts that could make people oppose the Party; they might have a feeling that the world could be better, but they would simply lack the ability to put any of it into words because the only language they know has had any such words systematically eliminated, making it impossible for them to express what they're thinking to anybody else in order to form any sort of organized revolt. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it this way.$$I feel sorry for translators sometimes, when they have to deal with translating something that doesn't translate well.$$Actually, it's a little similar (or maybe I just make bizarre connections) to a thought I had a while ago about smilies. Have you ever noticed how you can have, say, a smiling smilie in two different smilie sets, and sometimes you're using a medium with one smilie set and think \"Darn, I wish I had the smiling smilie from the other smilie set; I feel more like that smilie now\"? It even works for text smilies in different fonts; just moving the eyes or mouth of a smilie one pixel up or down will completely change its expression, even though you can't really explain in words what the difference between the two smilies' happiness is. For some reason I find this fascinating. You're probably tilting your head in puzzlement.";
next[7] = "Well. I'm not a very tidy sort of person, so for a couple of years after getting it, I had the box of my Sapphire version lying around on my desk. And then when I was making this, I had the brilliant idea of putting in every single word on the box. Oh, dear.$$\"Pokémon Sapphire Version. Only for Game Boy Advance. Official Nintendo Seal of Quality. The Pokémon Company. Nintendo. Everyone. E. Content rated by ESRB. Pokémon Sapphire Version. Only for Game Boy Advance. GBA link cable. Immerse yourself in the beautiful region of Hoenn, a place of masterful heroes and mysterious teams, of friendship and battles. As the new kid in town, you set off on your journey as a Pokémon Trainer. Who knows what wonders and dangers await you? Now it's time to grab your gear and head out on your own... Over 200 Pokémon appear with over 100 new discovered species - you have to link up and trade with a friend who has Ruby Version to catch them all!* 2-on-2 battles - use two of your Pokémon in battle at the same time! Engage in intense multi battles with up to four friends!* Pokémon contests let you groom your Pokémon to be the Best of Show! Stunning Game Boy Advance graphics display the world of Pokémon with more detail than ever! There are some differences between Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire, such as how often certain Pokémon appear. This product can only be linked to the Ruby and Sapphire versions. It is NOT compatible with other Pokémon versions or the Pokémon Stadium series. *You'll need a Game Boy Advance Game Link Cable and two to four Game Paks when you link up to trade or battle (sold separately). AGB P AXPE. 0 45496 73254 7. Official Nintendo Seal of Quality. This official seal is your assurance that Nintendo has approved the quality of this product. Always look for this seal when buying games and accessories to ensure complete compatibility. Page Area Cry Size B Cancel. No61 SKITTY. KITTEN POKéMON. HT 2'0\" WT 24.3 lbs. Page 1. SKITTY is known to chase around playfully after its own tail. In the wild, this Pokémon lives in holes in the trees. Catch New Pokémon!! Zigzagoon male Lv:3 HP Torchic male Lv:9 HP. Taillow female Lv:5 HP Mudkip male Lv:10 HP. Foe TORCHIC used FOCUS ENERGY! Exciting 2-on-2 battles! Game play on the Game Boy Advance video game system. Basic reading ability is needed to fully enjoy this game. The Pokémon Company. Nintendo. 2003 Pokémon. 1995-2003 Nintendo\\Creatures Inc.\\GAME FREAK inc. TM,  and Game Boy Advance are trademarks of Nintendo. 2003 Nintendo. Nintendo of America Inc. P.O. box 957, Redmond, WA. 98073-0957 U.S.A. www.nintendo.com. Pokémon Sapphire Version. Made in Japan. 6. AGB-AXPE. USA. WARNING: People who are photosensitive (have had seizures induced by flashing lights or patterns) should not play video games without first seeing a doctor. IMPORTANT! Read the instruction booklet before setup or use of your system. For customer service visit www.nintendo.com or call 1-800-255-3700. For sale, rental and use only in USA, Canada, Mexico and Latin America. Pokémon Sapphire Version. The Pokémon Company. Nintendo. 6. AGB-AXPE. USA.\"";
next[8] = "...you're /still alive/? My God. Chances are you've been reading this for over twenty-five minutes straight now. I admire you, I really do. Sadly, it is not quite over yet.$$*grabs the nearest book in English*$$The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Oh, dear, I have a girly book. I'm not fond of most fiction specifically aimed at girls, so I never actually read it and probably never will, but that only makes it all the better to drive you away from here, at least if you're male.$$Let's see what it says on the back!$$Four very different friends. One pair of magical pants. And a summer apart...$$We, the Sisterhood, hereby instate the following rules to govern use of the Traveling Pants:$$1. You must never wash the Pants.$2. You must never double-cuff the Pants. It's tacky. There will never be a time when this will not be tacky.$3. You must never say the word \"phat\" while wearing the Pants. You must also never think \"I am fat\" while wearing the Pants.$4. You must never let a boy take off the Pants (although you may take them off yourself in his presence).$5. You must not pick your nose while wearing the Pants. You may, however, scratch casually at your nostril while really kind of picking.$6. Upon reunion, you must follow the proper procedures for documenting your time in the Pants.$7. You must write to your Sisters throughout the summer, no matter how much fun you are having without them.$8. You must pass the Pants along to your Sisters according to the specifications set down by the Sisterhood. Failure to comply will result in a severe spanking upon our reunion.$9. You must not wear the Pants with a tucked-in shirt and belt. See rule #2.$10. Remember. Pants = love. Love your pals. Love yourself.$$Oh, wow, this seems like a silly book. Maybe I should read it for kicks after all.";
next[9] = "And now, my evil plans are complete! I will - er... you're /still here/? What's with you? You clearly have the patience of a Pterodacteagle, which is an animal I made up when I was little that looks like a pterodactyl with eagle wings and is so patient that it frequently starves itself to death while hiding and waiting for an opportunity to snatch eggs from a dragon nest. Why, yes, I made up messed-up things when I was little. I made up stories with no point to them except involving the execution of an innocent person. This is nothing. Nothing!$$So, speaking of my stories! Have you read The Quest for the Legends? (Cue exasperated groaning about why I can't stop talking about that thing.) It has become considerably better than it used to be, not that that's saying much. Since I have your attention, I really cannot resist the opportunity to force it on you, so here's the prologue of the IALCOTN version, which has a confusing blend of past and present tense that only makes it more fun:$$Awakening. Heavy eyelids retract with difficulty, slowly, weakly. The deep blue eyes behind them adjust their focus to the cloudy sky above.$$/It did not know where it was, but it could tell that it was lying down./$$/It also knew that the sky had been clear last time it saw it./$$The creature’s small pink paws feel the damp soil underneath them. It moves them, trembling, up into its line of vision, and the eyes refocus.$$/Blood dripped slowly from the raised paw onto the fur on its chest, but what did it matter? It was all stained red already./$$It blinks.$$/There was not supposed to be blood. There was no blood in its last conscious memory./$$It squeezes its eyes firmly shut again and pushes itself shakily to its elongated feet, but then hesitates.$$/It did not really want to look. It feared what it might see, what more horror its eyes would be forced to absorb./$$/But it had to./$$The creature’s chest expands and contracts. It opens a small rift between its eyelids.$$/Fire, death, destruction./$$Its eyes snap open.$$It is standing beside the body of a larger creature with pale, leathery skin, bulgy fingers and toes and a long, thick, violet tail.$$/It did not recognize him, but thought no more of it in the horror of the moment./$$The last remaining houses of a human village burn in front of a forest of dead, leafless trees. The former inhabitants, humans and Pokémon, lie sprawled on the ground, some dead, some dying, some mutilated beyond recognition, but none conscious. It notices the torn corpse of a black creature with glowing, green markings lying a short distance away.$$/It sensed the cool wind ruffle its fur. It suddenly seemed so cold…/$$/It felt around with telepathy in despair, but there was no response signal; the only sound to be heard was the crackling of the fire as it devoured the last remains of the village./$$The creature closes its large eyes and lets the burning tears wash the blood off its face.$$/It was alone./";
next[10] = "Well, if you haven't left now after some thirty-five minutes (on my computer, anyway) of marqueeness, you are to be awarded for your patience. The secret to getting your reward? Simply click on the last modified date below on this page before this segment of marquee ends. Congratulations, and enjoy your fabulous reward. Be proud.";
next[11] = "If you're reading this, you missed the award. Too bad for you.";

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