Chapter 1:The strange day of Birch Madness
One day,May birch and Brendan Birch turned into cannibals.They tied Mr.Birch's feet together, and used the rest of the rope to hang him from a tree.They did just that,and climbed down the tree and jumped up and down,excited to see thier dad fall.Eventually,he fell,and May howled to a full sun.She sniffed her dad,and took the first bite,to make sure he wasn't poisonous.He was poisonous,but instead of dying,May tap danced on a whale.Brendan took a nice big bite,and grew fluffy pink fur.Thier mother came out,took a bite,and gained weight like crazy.Then,Ash came out to play catch with his "best friend" Brendan,but instead,May burped and Ash lost his hearing.Brendan fished in his plastic swimming pool,hoping to find a copy of Pokemon Green.Suddenly,May and Brendan's grandpa fell out of the sky and landed on the ground.When he became consious again,he sang,"Come on!Let's play Birchonopoly!The game where you steal May Birch's property,and Brendan's property if you can,as long as you have a tan!"
May drank a 2 liter bottle of Diet Diet Coke.Brendan saw what she did,and became best friends with a monkey named Bippy.Bippy lived in a land full of muffins.May wanted to go to Bippy's house to see the muffin land,but instead,she found a football autographed by Santa Clause.She became so angry that she sniffed a bunch of Jamacian people saying,"Ha ha ho!Hello we are the ha ha men!Happy to ha ha you in the place of the Hahamas!Ha Ha,Ho!".After the Jamacian people stopped singing,M Block came out of nowhere,wearing a dress and it started to dance with Brendan.Mr.Birch somehow came alive and started burping the ABCs.May counted to infinity,frying an egg on her head.
M Block evolved into M Circle.
May evolved into June.
Brendan devolved into Brendo.
Mr.Birch sniffed Mrs.Birch,and he got a seizure.Mrs.Birch turned into a gumball machine.June devolved back into May.Brendo evolved back into Brendan.M Circle evolved into M Triangle.
Bippy and the Jamacian people started eating muffins and singing,"Ha ha ho!Hello we are the Ha Ha Men!Happy to ha ha you in the place of the ha hamas!Ha ha,ho!".
Misty fell out of the sky and became best friends with May.May turned into a waffle.Brendan shaved his fluffy pink fur and grew some more.Mr.Birch recovered from his seizure,made unattractive armpit noises,and got another seizure.
Ash got his hearing back,put a steak on his head,and flew away.Brendan poured some syrup on May.Mrs.Birch tied Mr.Birch's feet together and hung him from a tree.May turned back into a girl and jumped up and down excitedly.Brendan joined her.Thier dad fell onto the ground.An Umbreon appeared out of nowhere and everyone fell asleep.
Suddenly,an Espeon appeared and they all woke up.
Brendan swam in popcorn.
May devolved into April.
Brendan flew away.
The guy who created Roller Coaster Tycoon fell out of the sky,with the crazy Jamacians singing"Put the lime in the coconut and you'll feel better!Put the-"
Before they could move on,a bird carried an 8-year old to RollerCoaster Tycoon land.
A pterodactyl did karate on April's foot.
April evolved into May.
May and Brendan tied up Mr.Birch and hung him from a tree,excited to see him fall.
Ronald McDonald rode on Kirby to the scenario.
Mrs.Birch was eating porcrines.
Mr.Birch bit the rope and sniffed his wart.
Brendan and May had 4 pounds of butter,green eggs,ham,and a partridge in a pear tree.
Ash got up and went to Fish Tanks R Us to buy a cheeseburger.
A birdie flew down to the ground.
May tried to teach underaged dolphins how to play the clarinet with your tongue.
Brendan started talking like Elmer Fudd.
Brendan stopped talking like Elmer.
Brendan-"Heheh.What's up doc?"
May-"I wish I was a rich man,even though I am not a man."
Mrs.Birch-"That is enough!Go to your room,and don't come out until my Skitty says so!"
Everyone wakes up."Yawn...Burp...Ffftttt...Bleh..."
Skitty-"I command you to get down and give me 10!"
Brendan-"I think she means 10 burps."
Brendan gets down and burps.
May skips along the Frosting River in Muffinland.
May and Brendan bash their heads against a lamp saying"Dobby punishing self!Don't be mad Mr.Harry Potter!"
Dobby and Harry come out of the ground.
Dumbledore comes out of a muffin in Muffinland.
May-"Run to the safe East Coast Side!"
Will they survive?Read on to the next chapter!Chapter 3 coming soon.